Creating Your Personalised Tazkiyah Plan
Someone close has said something hurtful about you.
They’ve spoken to you rudely, and you’re now having a vent session with your friends about how much they’ve hurt you.
At first, you just talk about how it made you feel. You talk about how upset it’s made you, that you feel insecure about the comment they made, and you don’t know how to act around that person anymore.
But then, slowly, you start saying things about that person. You start saying mean things about them, their personality, their appearance. You mock them and laugh about them with your friends. You talk about rumours, gossip, things that may or may not be true about them.
Time passes and you indulge in this habit of backbiting, gossiping and judging repeatedly. Backbiting and gossip puts you into unnecessary arguments with people you weren’t close with but now, even with your loved ones. You forget loyalties in the addictive habit of backbiting.
As you get older, you start to enjoy it less and less. You’ve heard other peoples’ side of the story and you feel guilty for the things you said about them. You realise the people you trusted aren’t always telling the truth.
Eventually, you’ve had enough of the drama. You still backbite out of habit but it doesn’t give you the same release and satisfaction anymore. Not to mention the fact that you knew it was sinful all along, but now you don’t even like doing it anymore, it’s more of a habit. In fact, you feel kind of sick after speaking about others and start thinking it would be better not to talk bad about people anymore.
Congratulations. You are on the path of Tazkiyah.
What is Tazkiyah?
In essence, Tazkiyah involves the process of purifying the soul and perfecting your character.
The above example is just one of many sins you can fall into as a Muslim. It is inevitable to sin.
And that is what is key – repentance. To always turn back to Allah once you have done wrong. To be sincere and vow to never do it again. And that if it does happen again, you try again and again to be better.
This process of bettering yourself over time is Tazkiyah.
Think of it as character building, main character energy, personal development. In order for the protagonist of a story to have a happy ending, they need to grow, learn new skills and be a better person by the end of it.
This is the same for us as Muslims. In order to reach the everlasting abode of Jannah, we must perfect our character, and therefore our deeds in order to be able to reach it.
Related:
What is Taqwa? Qualities & How to Attain It
A Simple Guide On Making Duas In Islam
How To Be A Better Muslim (+ Centre Your Life Around Islam!)
How To Deal With Overthinking in Islam
Creating your Tazkiyah Plan
Below are some simple ideas you can use to begin your Tazkiyah journey/ the purification of your soul, and get the ‘points’ you need to enter Paradise.
Perfect your prayer
I cannot stress enough just how important prayer is. It makes up one of the pillars of Islam. It is also the first thing that will protect us in the grave and the first thing that we will be asked about on the Day of Judgement.
Not only is it an obligation, but praying consistently and in a timely manner will bring Barakah (blessings) in your life.
Pray to Allah to help/ allow you to achieve better character so you can be a better Muslim and enter Jannah.
Here is a two-part guide on creating a daily Salah-based schedule, so that you can make the five salah the non-negotiable foundational points of the day and incorporate your daily tasks around your Salah rather than trying to fit your Salah in where you can.
Repent
Repentance is key in the process of Tazkiyah.
The Messenger of Allah ﷺ said that when Allah’s slave abstains from a sin, repents and asks for forgiveness, his heart is not only wiped clean of that dark spot (that was placed on the heart because of the sin) but it is also polished.
Think about the word ‘polished.’ It means to become even more beautiful, shiny, clean, pure.
Therefore, repentance involves the purification of the soul and polishing of the heart.
Here are two guides on how to repent the correct way.
How To Repent A Sin (As a Muslim)
How To Repent Our Sins (Including a Step-by-Step Guide)
Try your best to follow the process of repentance but if it’s not possible at first, keep trying even if it’s not perfect. Imperfect repentance is better than none. Make Dua to Allah to help you repent properly and He will guide you. (1)
Research
Whether it’s through Youtube videos, lectures, seminars, courses or books by knowledgeable Islamic scholars, make this your starting point to learn about how to do Tazkiyah.
Gain knowledge about what qualities a good Muslim should have by listening/ reading the Seerah of Prophet ﷺ . Learn about his attributes, how he dealt with things, what kinds of actions and decisions he took etc. Try to mirror this kind of behaviour/ attitude in your own life.
Of course, Prophet Muhammad ﷺ is our greatest example to follow of how to be a good Muslim, but you could also listen to stories of the Sahaba too.
I recommend you to watch ‘The Firsts’ series from Yaqeen Insitute. Each episode provides an in-depth breakdown of the commitment and participation of the Sahaba to the path of Islam.
If you find similarities in your personality with members of these stories, make your Tazkiyah plan according to the best practices used by the Prophet ﷺ and the Sahaba. Take inspiration from things they dealt with and incorporate it into your own life.
It’s useful to also see the way the Sahaba learnt about Islam as we can see them grapple with daily things that we deal with to this day, including spiritual problems and worldly issues like procrastination or having patience.
As well as listening to these stories, listening to lectures by Islamic scholars about how to develop certain attributes in life like humbleness, time management skills and self-awareness will further you in your character development process.
Related:
Why you MUST stop procrastinating: The Repentance Story of Ka’ab ibn Malik
Patience in Islam: The Story of Zaynab bint Muhammad ﷺ
How To Stop Comparing Yourself To Other People
How To Be Consistent As A Muslim
The Five Before Five Hadith: Prophetic Advice That Will Change Your Life
Dunya and Deen – How to Balance Both (Part 2)
How To Build A Connection With Allah SWT
Do a self-assessment
Build spiritual awareness by self-assessing yourself and identifying all the areas you need to work on.
Stop comparing yourself to others and look inward. Who are you as a person, and who do you want to be?
Jot down all the things you’d like to work on. For instance, not listening to music anymore, being less judgemental, being friendlier, being kinder to your parents etc.
Then create a quick plan under each subheading of how you will achieve each of these things.
Chances are you’ll have at least a couple of things on your list so the aim is to take it slow and steady.
Don’t let it just stop at research. Make sure you put what you learn into action. It might be hard at first but even if you slip up, try again.
And, don’t rush in and try to fix everything in your character all at once. Take small steps and deal with each area one at a time.
You will gradually improve as you identify techniques to get yourself out situations that cause you to sin (e.g. trying to change the conversation when people start backbiting about others around you, or leaving the conversation and speaking to someone else), and do things that help you better your character (e.g. being grateful for all the things you have that Allah has given you rather than comparing yourself and being jealous of someone else).
Over time, you might even realise that you are naturally doing the other things you aimed to do without even trying. That is Barakah! Allah wants you to succeed!
Improve your relationship with your parents
As a Muslim, you have a great duty to your parents. To respect, esteem and care for them.
I understand that not everyone may have the ideal relationship with their parents. But, remember your purpose. You are obligated to be kind, obedient and respectful to your parents, and being rude and disobedient to them is a great sin, regardless of how they are.
Work on your relationship with your parents for the sake of Allah, and maybe over time, Allah will bring healing, reconciliation and peace in your relationship. Allah knows best.
Invite blessings into your life by being kinder to your parents, and respecting and supporting them.
Spend time in nature
Replace some of your screen time with ‘real life’ time.
You don’t need to take a stroll in the woods, even just going for a walk outside in the city where you live is better than bed rotting and scrolling all day.
This will give you time and space to breath and think about what you want in life and who you want to be.
It’s a good way to self-reflect and look deep within yourself to start making the changes you need to make.
Surround yourself with good company
Take yourself away from or at least limit your time with people who cause you to sin.
Instead, keep in company with those who remind you of Allah, and encourage you to do good deeds.
Have conversations with and get advice from those you trust about things you want to improve in your character.
Say Alhamdulillah
Realising that you need to improve your character and possibly change parts of it is a great achievement.
It requires humility, not being stubborn and owning up to the fact that… well you haven’t been the nicest person.
Say Alhamdulillah for this realisation as Allah has allowed you to feel these things and come to this conclusion.
Allah is giving you an opportunity to wake up and deal with things so that you can make the most of your time in this world. He is giving you the chance to be better, to do better and ultimately be in a better space both in this world and the Hereafter. He is hoping, pushing, telling you to succeed.
It’s up to you whether you take that call and actually do something with it.
Maintain healthy spiritual habits
Employ healthy spiritual routines and habits in your life and aim to stay consistent with them.
Create a daily habit of reading the Quran. Read translations of it, and listen to Tafsir. Ponder upon the Quranic verses and think about how you can apply its teachings into your own life.
Learn from the Quran and feel peace from engaging with it as it is the direct word of Allah.
As well as this, have a routine for morning and evening Adhkhar. Staying in the constant remembrance of Allah and His Greatness and Power over you will always remind you of your goal, but also stack up points on your scale.
Other things you can do include learning the 99 Names of Allah and using the Blessed Names when making Dua to Allah to guide you. Make Dua a habit by creating a ‘Dua list’ of all the things you want to achieve in life and wait for the three possible responses to the Dua that Allah has for you.
Go to counselling
For deeper issues that you are struggling to deal with and don’t want to share with others, consider booking a counsel/ mental health/ therapy session.
Ultimately, you should be speaking to Allah in your Duas about your concerns and worries. And you should rely on Him solely to take care of your affairs but if you feel the need to vent in a private space and learn coping strategies from a professional, it is important you do that too.
Allah is الْجَبَّارُ (Al-Jabbar) (The Compeller, The Restorer), الْهَادِي (Al-Haadi) (The Guide) and الْوَدُودُ (Al-Wadud) (The Most Loving), but it is up to you to do the best you can with what you have as well, all while trusting His Plan completely.
KEY POINTS – Creating Your Personalised Tazkiyah Plan
- In essence, Tazkiyah involves the process of purifying the soul and perfecting your character.
- Praying is not only an obligation, but praying consistently and in a timely manner will bring Barakah (blessings) in your life.
- Repentance is key in the process of Tazkiyah.
- Whether it’s through Youtube videos, lectures, seminars, courses or books by knowledgeable Islamic scholars, make this your starting point to learn about how to do Tazkiyah.
- Build spiritual awareness by self-assessing yourself and identifying all the areas you need to work on.
- Invite blessings into your life by being kinder to your parents, and respecting and supporting them.
- Spending time in nature will give you time and space to breath and think about what you want in life and who you want to be.
- Take yourself away from or at least limit your time with people who cause you to sin.
- Realising that you need to improve your character and possibly change parts of it is a great achievement – say Alhamdulillah for this
- Employ healthy spiritual routines and habits in your life and aim to stay consistent with them.
- For deeper issues that you are struggling to deal with and don’t want to share with others, consider booking a counsel/ mental health/ therapy session.
SOURCES:
(1) Repentance: The Perpetual Path to Tazkiyah | Heart Matters EP #8 | Shaykh Dr. Yasir Qadhi
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